Ouch!
We almost had'm, Sucks. It was a heartbreaking last-inning loss, but I've never been so proud of a group of losers. The city's scoreboard may have read 7-6 Hippies, but the scoreboard in my heart read 37-2 us. Here's why:
The Hippies firstbasewoman, Shaun, uses a real and actual firstbasewoman's glove. Clearly, the Hippies have too much gear. Our firstbasewoman uses a 1983 George Brett model. Our only spare is a 1990 Chris Sabo. How many balls got by Amber? A big ol' zero.
Score that: +5 Suck Dragons, -2 Hippies
At game time, I thought we were going to win by forfeit because the Hippies failed to show up. Turned out they were simply at the other field finishing off another pre-game practice. This was approximately the same time we were cracking open beer #3.
Score that: +3 (beers) Suck Dragons, -2 Hippies
The Hippies had more new players whom they clearly met at tournaments. More people with "athletic equipment." Their team brought batbags, our team brought cigarettes.
Score that: +5 Suck Dragons, -2 Hippies
They scored more runs than us.
Score that: 6 Suck Dragons, +7 Hippies
But only like one more run.
Score that: +5 Suck Dragons, -1 Hippies
We had Chris making 80% of our plays.
Score that: +10 Suck Dragons, 0 Hippies
They want me to play with them Wednesday nights in Elk Grove.
Score that: 0 Suck Dragons, +5 Hippies
I had to refuse because I can't be associated with a team with such an out of whack beer-to-practices held ratio.
Score that: +3 Suck Dragons, -5 Hippies
They're not the Luck Dragons.
Score that: 0 Suck Dragons, +2 Hippies
Total score: Suck Dragons- 37 Hippies- 2
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6 comments:
Do you guys rotate who blogs or what? -13 to you for that.
Hey, I think we should get like +10 us because our players have like 8 kids total and we still somehow find time to win.
Three overweight guys on our team, still haven't keeled over, +5 us.
Our new women are cops and teachers, +7 us (btw, first game in quite a while for both of them, we didn't meet at a tourney).
Our team name doesn't rhyme with -uck, (well, I heard someone over there say something that rhymed with that, but it started with an f and that is not our team name), +3 us.
You have Griffey Jr. in his prime playing left field and you complain about us, -3 you.
You also have multiple players who play more than once a week and in tournaments, -5 you.
Good game tonight, and Amber, convince Nick to fill in on Wednesday nights with us. He doesn't need to drive, we carpool. That won't affect his drinking at all.
Hey, I drank three beers before the game too, two at home and one at the field. Take away at least one of our negatives for that.
Oh that's another thing. That's a dirty trick getting cops on your team and having their cop friends visit the field. We had to stash our beers and everyone knows that's where we get our power from.
However, if you got permission from them to drink in the park, I will give you all your points back.
I guess we do rotate who blogs. Better Nick did it anyway this week because had I wrote it, it probably would have contained a lot of curse words and insults.
I overheard that the cops were there looking for the "drunk dragons". This was the most worried that majority of us were during the game second to the wrath of Robinson.
I don't know who gets points for it, but it will make MATT happy that I have a fat (of course), bloody hole in my leg from sliding on that awesome field.
Our "cop friend" usually catches for us, but she obviously had to work. If you ever get stopped by an Sac PD officer in the hood, feel free to drop my name or Cory's, Rev. Marrianne, Damn Dirty Hippies,Cabrillo Way, Tahoe Park softball or even Suck Dragons and there is a better than 50% chance that you'll be safe. The odds for the Suck Dragon women are better-somewhere around 100%
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