Last night, in what was supposed to be our last match-up of the year against the Damn Dirty Hippies, the Suck Dragons won by a score of 7-5. This was by far the sweetest victory since the inception of the team. Last week, after the Chupa Cabras failed to show, I wrote the following paragraph:
"I would like to say that a "win is a win," but I don't want to conjure up any ideas that I think it's okay to take walks at the end of a game or run time off the clock by walking out to the outfield in order to ensure that you get that win."
If I were to say that what was written above was not directed at last night's opponent, I would be lying worse than Rafael Palmeiro during his grand jury testimony. However, to no one's surprise, that is exactly how the Hippies played last night. They played like the game was taking place during 4th grade recess. I think because so many of them are teachers, the students may be starting to rub off on them.
You see, the Hippies took a 4-2 lead in the second inning and kicked it into low-gear, walking (read: old chinese women walk faster) out to the field, taking time off the clock, having conversations with each other, all in the hopes of holding on to their lead a little bit longer. Well guess what, it didn't work out that way and an inning or two later, the game was tied. So, what do the Hippies do next? They crowd the plate and super glue their bats to their shoulders for two straight innings? Of course this did not work either because Chris threw strikes and let's just say our defense was not giving up much last night. In the final inning, the game was tied and the Dragons had the bases juiced with one out and in true sportsman-like fashion, the Hippies resort to bitching at the umpire for five minutes about some phantom play that no one saw except for two Hippies. The Hippies pitcher was so irate that he could not throw a strike to save his life so yours truly, who is up with the bases loaded and one out and could probably swing at anything remotely close and drive in the winning run, takes the sweetest walk of his life (not too mention the only walk I have ever taken in co-ed softball in 15-plus seasons of playing). Yes, I know that what I did was the direct opposite of my quote above, but fuck it, they deserved it. Anyway, the Hippies pitcher starts fighting with the up and yelling in his face, calling for a protest and all this crap, all while the Dragons are jumping for joy and holding their well-deserved fingers in the air signaling that they are now number 1!
Our team played great last night and everyone played a role. We stuck together and pulled out the second biggest win of our careers as Dragons. We are really starting to gel and our defense is really becoming solid. Now, all we gotta do is beat the Luck Dragons and we can put it in cruise control.
To the Hippies, I love you guys, but I think somewhere along the line last night you guys forgot that it's COED D-LEAGUE SOFTBALL and that, for the most part, the teams in this league are friends! Yeah, I know, "Pot...meet Kettle." But seriously, you guys kinda reminded us of this "Mets Guy" you're always talking about last night. Anyway, see you guys in a few week's for what is commonly known in sports as "The Rubber Match."
Update: I just saw this on Brokaw's Blog:
"And of course, the cameo by the Hippie who returned to the field an hour after his team's loss, laptop in hand, to argue with the ump about a play that happened earlier in the night. I'm all for the Rule of Law, but when we only have 13 minutes to play and we're losing, please save it for the post-game next time!"
Are you kidding me!? Whoever that was should be kicked off of your team.
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13 comments:
Hey Matt, remember the time you made all those girls cry over a game of Catch Phrase? That was awesome.
And lord knows, I've stormed out of the room during Scattergories more than one time.
I think we all get a little too wrapped up in games occassionally, but that's the nature of the beast.
Especially when that beast is a Suck Dragon and it just legitimately beat you for the first time.
So I'm gonna let the Hippies' whining slide this time. They'll get used to losing to us eventually.
Nobody thinks any less of you for taking that much deserved walk. I would've donkey kicked you for taking a swing.
Proud to the core, I am. (Not that I contributed much to the game last night... but I yelled A TON!) Sometimes you gotta fight fire with fire, and we wanted this win more. Great game guys!
Hippies... make love not war, right?
Who are you? Doctor Phil?
First off, a donkey kick is always appropriate.
Second, I am still so excited about Matt's walk and the laptop incident that I plan on skipping everywhere today.
Third, I still love Paco and most of the hippies and I agree with my oh so smart and adorable man friend. Eventually they will grow accustomed to loosing that the thought of bumping chests in anger with a D-league umpire after the game won’t even cross their minds.
I will remind you all that.......A. It was not the Hippies arguing, it was 2 guys from the Hippies with the rest of us trying to get them out of there . B. Only 1 of them is still on the team. C. The other one is not an original Hippie, so he is not yet knowing the ways of the Hippies, but he will learn. D. That walk was weak Matt, you hypocrite!
Matt, congrats on your win last night, you guys played well. I think that your perception of the "pacing" of the game is way off - I think you were seeing what you wanted to see (as proven by a comment by you as third base coach upon overhearing 2 infielders discussing an upcoming play). If you get fired up and play better because you *think* the other team is playing like jerks, then great... But to come on and then use it to throw insults at a group of people that you seem to be friends with is... well much less than friendly. I am sometimes oblivious to what is going on in the game, I'll admit. That being said, I am pretty certain that there was no "time delay" strategy in place. I do recall one of my teammates instructing a batter to "make him pitch to you"... A batter who recently started subbing for us and who, I get the impression hasn't played in sometime and hence might be uncomfortable at bat. I think you could agree that it is par for the course to tell such a batter to wait til you get a pitch you want. I personally took 6 pitches in my last AB (second to last inning I believe) because I am slumping and I have a bad habit of swinging at a pitch that I don't like because I think it will drop in for a strike - rather than swinging at a pitch I like (I swung at the first pitch the previous AB). As for walking into the OF, come on - we are old (or at least feel old) and lazy... really really lazy. I could go on, but my laziness is actually getting the better of me right now. But I'll wrap up the "time delay" issue with this: You really think that the team that hasn't lost a legitimate game this year wants to hide in their shells and clutch desperately to a 2 point lead? No, we want another AB to open it up. Lastly, time delay just doesn't work when you are the visiting team - think about it. Regarding other complaints, rather than filling another page, I'll just say that it is very frustrating playing with an ump that just seems to have it out for you from the opening pitch. That guy was displaying some serious small-man syndrome directed at our team. Regarding the "hippie with the laptop" he approached the scorekeeper only, and both blues made the decision to stop the game and go discuss it.
Oh yeah, I know you don't know me, and I'm not trying to post anonymously... My name is Jason - I was in Center field last night. This is my first full time assignment with the hippies, but I subbed for them regularly earlier in the year. I guess I just can't sit idle while my team is being trashed.
Jason, you're right, I don't know you.
Jason, Jason, Jason apologies for any wrong doings or hurt feelings that have come from the Dragons that Suck. The banter and back and forth is the fun behind the Hippies and SD's, and it has been present for several seasons now. Always in good fun.
As you can see Matt pokes fun at, well anything/anyone, Nick then gives it back to him, Paco and other Hippies chime in. All equaling one mess of love, smoking and wagons full of beer. We look forward to you getting on board with your next full time assignments with the hippies.
There was the trash talk between teams, a thrilled Dragons team for pulling out the W and then there was the situation between a few of your players and the ump. Don't lump in the bad situation with the ump as your team being trashed or us being mean, the banter all is in fun-equally from both sides.
With that said, the laptop situation is still off the charts, in any league!
Suck Dragons Love the Hippies-now and forever! Again, hopefully there is no hurt feelings we all love playing and yelling at one another.
I appreciate your comments mysterious D-Soft. Reveal yourself to me (I am guessing John K.).
d-soft, well put. If this blog came from just some other team (rather than friends)I wouldn't really have worried about it and I'll try to keep in mind that the exchanges by most are all in good fun.
Matt, your response to me makes me think that your posts really aren't in good fun. I did not attack anybody in my post (or at least I don't think I did) and you responded... well, by being a dick. I suppose I could be wrong, it isn't always easy to catch sarcasm and such through text, but it seems hard to misinterpret your intent.
I'm trying to think of reasons why an umpire would "have it out" for a certain team.
Let's see, what could upset an umpire.
Hmmmmmmmm....
Complaining a lot? Possibly.
Getting in their face after a game? Probably.
Bringing a damn laptop back to the field an hour after the game to prove a petty point about nothing? Bingo!
I'm not even sure what rule was causing the problem.
Or maybe he was he just showing the scorekeeper some awesome porn.
"Hey I know it's an hour after our game, but I thought you might wanna see this..."
Oh and, uhhh, my name is Nick.
Jason, I was being sarcastic while at the same time being a dick (it's my nature). I just find it incredible that someone would come on to a blog written in good fun by someone they don't know and write a 500 word diatribe about things they really don't seem to understand.
Man, this is like the best response a SD blog has ever gotten. You guys really do take this shit seriously.
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